Saturday, 22 October 2016

50 Questions that will free your mind

Why hello poor neglected Blog! I have been away for far too long and sooo much has happened - but that's another post!
So, I have just finished my Day Zero Project (I completed 56/101 goals, which I didn't think was too bad!) I decided to make another one and put on the goals I didn't manage to achieve, plus some new ones. Whilst searching for inspiration, I came across this goal and decided that it looked good, so I am going to have a go at answering them all!
For a link to the original article written by Marc Chernoff  click here

Off we go then!
50 Questions that will free your mind:

1.    How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? I think probably around 65 - I have always felt older than I am, like I have an old soul! Plus my body is falling apart!
2.    Which is worse, failing or never trying? Never trying! You will never know what you can achieve unless you try. If you fail, you can always try again.
3.    If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? I think we get complacent about things. We think that we have all the time in the world, so will get around to those things we really want to do 'someday'. Also fear of the unknown or taking risks. People keep doing the same things over and over, even if they don't like doing them because they are known and therefore safe.
4.    When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? Probably! I'm brilliant at making lists and setting personal goals, but actually doing these things is a lot more of a challenge for me, heehee!
5.    What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? Wow, such a tough choice as there are so many things I would like to see changed! I think if we were all a lot more tolerant of each other - of our differences in beliefs, religions etc then there would be a lot less conflict in the world. 
6.    If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? Crafting, especially making jewellery - my new passion!
7.    Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? I settled for too many years in the past, so I am definitely doing what I believe in now :-)
8.    If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? I would live each day as if it were my last! Take more risks, do more things I want to do, complete my 'bucket list' etc. 
9.    To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? Hardly at all! My life has unfortunately been completely led by my depression - it caused me to leave my dream job of teaching, it was the final nail in the coffin of my marriage, it has caused major disruption to my day-to-day life. But I will always be a lot stronger because of all the difficulties I have overcome!
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? Tough question! I think doing the right things would worry me more, as I don't like the idea of doing wrong or breaking 'rules'
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.They all start criticising a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do? I listen quietly, but not agree at all. I will explain that they are talking about a close friend of mine and although they are entitled to their opinions, I would prefer to talk about something else. 
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Do what makes you happy - live the life you want, not what others expect from you
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one? Oh wow, I'm not sure! It would depend on what my loved one needs saving from! I would definitely want to help them, but staying within the law if possible.
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? Nope, I tend to see creativity wherever I look
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people? Roll my tongue in to 3! Silly I know, but most people I know can only roll their tongue so that both sides go up to make like a 'tongue tube'! I can make my tongue coil into 3 'bits' - I'm very weird!
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? Because we are all individuals. We have individual experiences in life and perceive things differently, which makes the world full of variety :-)
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back? Travel the world - I don't have the money! Heehee! Also I have my kids and am a single mum, so they always have to come first.
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Not anymore! Lots of therapy and self-discovery have allowed me to start letting go of old, negative beliefs. I am also getting better at letting go of kids things - like toys and only keeping truly sentimental things
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? Ooooh, so many possibilities! I think I would love to live in Canada. I think that it is a beautiful country and the Canadians I have met, are just lovely!
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster? No I don't and I don't think it would make a difference
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? I think joyful simpleton! I usual find more joy in the simple things in life anyway. Plus I'd rather be innocently joyful and happy then intelligent and worried all of the time ;-)
22. Why are you, you? Because of my genes, my experiences in life (good and bad) which have shaped my strong moral compass and beliefs, my loving and supportive friends and family and finally the faith that I'm on the path in life that God has helped me find.
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? Yes I think so. I am fiercely loyal and love all of my friends. I try to be supportive, to listen and help if I can. I don't have any expectations of my friends - I know that we all have busy lives and can't always find lots of spare time for a coffee and a catch-up, so I treasure any time they do have for me. I may not be good at calling friends, but I always try to message them frequently to see how they are. I hope that makes me a good friend to have. 
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? Losing touch with a friend who lives right near me. A lot of my closest friends live far away and I still manage to maintain good friendships. I have actually had a good friend who lives close to me who cut off our friendship and that was far worse. I have learnt though that we keep the friends we are supposed to keep, no matter the distance between us.
25. What are you most grateful for? My family. Without them, in particular my mum, I wouldn't be here today.
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? Wow, another really tough question! I already struggle a bit with my memory, but I think it would be far worse to never be able to make any new ones. 
27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first? Maybe. I think I tend to believe things as truth, as I trust that others are as truthful as I am. Perhaps I have become a little more gullible than I was previously, but I would always challenge something or investigate more if I wasn't convinced it was true.
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?  Yes. I feared not living the life I had always envisioned - being a teacher and having a happy marriage and family life. I am now a divorced, stay at home mum!
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now? No, memory isn't one of my strong points ;-)
30. What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special? Family Christmases because my grandparents always came to stay and it was even more special with them there.
31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? When investigating which way to vote on Brexit!
32. If not now, then when? I don't know! How about tomorrow ;-)
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose? Absolutely nothing :-)
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever? No, not that I can think of - I like 'real' conversations much more!
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? Religions don't cause wars, people do. People with an agenda hurt others and say that it is in the name of their God. Intolerance causes wars. Greed causes wars. Religions can be used as a 'reason' to justify peoples hatred and intolerance of others. 
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil? No. I think evil and good is impossible to ever really 'know' because it is subjective! What I think is evil may not be seen as evil to someone else.  
37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? If I had a job I loved then no! As I am currently unemployed, I would find more charitable work to do instead of paid work.
38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing? More work I actually enjoy doing. I need to have goals to achieve, it helps my depression. Otherwise I drift from one day to the next without really doing anything.
39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before? Yes! Today is one of a hundred days where I have no energy or motivation to do anything but play on my laptop with the TV on in the background! 
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in? When I finally found myself again, after my divorce and last post-natal depression. I have finally decided where my life is going!
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? I would want to see everyone! Hold a massive party, so that I could be with them all one last time. I could never choose one person over another!
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? No! I hate being in the lime light! When I  played the viola, I preferred hiding in the back row of my section in the orchestra or playing in a quartet - never liked solos!! 
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living? Being alive is just the physical aspects - breathing, eating, growing etc. Truly living requires much more! It requires experiences, choices, decisions, feeling emotions, interactions with others etc. 
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right? Right away! I have lived too long worrying and stressing about things - what problems my decisions may cause, weighing up the pros and cons . Now if I know something is the right thing to do, I will just get on and do it!
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? I think some of us are braver than others! If you have always met with criticism when you make a mistake, you will eventually believe that all mistakes are bad and so you will fear them. If mistakes are just a part of your journey, like bumps in the road rather than huge valleys to cross, then you can get over them a lot easier. I love the saying that you are not making a mistake - you are doing a dance; one step back and two forwards ;-)
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? I would wear my jammies all the time (even out in public) - they are just so comfy, heehee!
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? I learnt to focus on my breath when I took a mindful therapy course. I practised it the other day when having a floatation session :-)
48. What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? I love my kids and I tell them so every day! I try to encourage and support them and spend as much quality time with them as I can - having fun and making memories :-)
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that? Not a chance! My memory is awful - a not so great part of my depression :-(
50. Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you? I have found decision making very hard due to my depression, but I think that I have made a lot of progress recently! I am able to make the important decisions myself now - especially regarding my kids. Smaller, day-to-day decisions I hope are made together with my mum, not just always made for me, (since we all live together!)

Wow! If you made it this far, then thank you for sticking with me to then end! That was a really thought provoking process!