Happy Birthday Little Man!

Dear Little Man,
Where has that year gone?? I can't believe that today you celebrated your 6th birthday! You had a lovely bowling party yesterday, with some school friends and little miss and your cousins. Auntie Charlotte and Uncle Chris bought her new baby to meet you too. You had a really awesome cake; dinosaur of course!

thank you Dawn from dial a cake!

I am so proud of the little man you are growing into. You still give the best hugs ever - you seem to know just when I need one! You have a kind heart and are really generous! You are still a complete fruit-loop, which makes me feel much better, to know that you are just as silly as me! You have also unfortunately, inherited my clumsiness too - I have never seen anyone fall over or have as many accidents at school, as you do - sorry about that!
At the moment, you are really into power rangers action figures, guns, dinosaurs, jumping on the trampoline, scooting (mostly just to and from school) and you are just learning to ride the new bike that me, grannie and grandad got you for your birthday. The films of the moment that we watch again and again are How to Train Your Dragon (now you have the second one as well, thanks to grannie and grandad) Tinkerbell and Frozen (though I think those are more your sisters choices, heehee!)
You have done really well at school this year - especially with your reading and handwriting! I am so so proud of you! You still love drawing and have now started writing little stories with grandad! I think you are going to take after him with your creativity :-)

So, here are some of my favourite piccies of the last year:

We have had some brilliant times this year; playing at Dinton Pastures; bouncing on the trampoline; dressing up; our caravan holiday; Peppa Pig World; your sports day where you came 1st in the ball pick up, 2nd in the hurdles and 3rd in the sprint! My favourite was the 'dust fight' we had when we had been digging for dinosaurs - I don't know who ended up with the chalkiest face in the end ;-) heehee!
You have also had to cope with the past 2 1/2 months of chaos as the extension on the house has finally begun. It has been totally crazy; with builders, electricians and now our kitchen man, but it will all be worth it in the end when the house is wheelchair-friendly for grandad. I think my favourite moment was when you came home from school to find the microwave and kettle on a table in the living room! Our 'kitchen' for the past week and a half!
I love you to the moon and back little man!
Love
mummy xxx

H is for Happy!

Well, hello my poor neglected little blog!
I am very sorry that I have not been here for quite a while now, but life has been just so hectic!
So, while I have a few quiet moments, actually to myself, I thought it was about time that I updated my latest news!

I AM HAPPY!!!

I know right?? I never thought I would be saying those words, so soon as this! But it's the truth!
There a few reasons for my new found happiness:

1) I am loving life and my place in it so much more now that I have placed my faith and trust in God. I pray more and try to stress less! I feel so loved and protected and it's just an amazing feeling!

2) I have the most amazing, supportive family! My kids might drive me nutts, but they are what my day revolves around! My dad might be a little demanding, but he can't help it with his MS. My mum might snap at others a little, but she is only human and very tired and over-worked! This whole new outlook has just made me try to be more understanding and patient - I don't manage it all the time, but I know that it is achievable!

3) I think I have met the man I want to spend the rest of my life with!! This is probably had the biggest impact on my happiness, if I'm honest!
I decided (with a little encouragement from my mum) to try out Classic FM Romance, to try and meet a nice man, seeing as I was well and truly over the Ex now. So, one evening I spent an age ticking all these boxes on the forms, placed a photo of myself (really hated that bit!) and the I uploaded it! I had interest from a couple of nice men, but nothing that seemed to instantly 'click' as the right person. Two days later and I log on to find that a man with the most gorgeous smile had sent me a message! We started to message on the site, then found each other on facebook and eventually exchanged phone numbers! Then I spoke to him on the phone! I know! Me, talking to a stranger on the phone, by choice!! Unheard of ;-) Then we were talking every night! He came to spend the night in a hotel near where I live. We went out to dinner and then to the cinema and it was just brilliant!
Then I went to see him for the weekend where he was working, but only ended up seeing him for an hour! He had booked me a hotel showing as being 6 miles away from where he was working, but it turned out that it had been calculated across the water! I was in fact 1 1/2 hours away! I still can't believe he got a taxi and came and surprised me for that hour - costing him £250!!! Crazy man ;-) I actually spent a beautiful weekend at Southend-on-Sea, exploring and having some 'me time'!
He has also met my kids and my mum and dad! The kids loved him, as he was on the floor being silly and playing with them! He even came with me to collect Little Man from school, which I hadn't expected him to do. My parents think he's great! He sat and spoke for a while with my dad and just loved my mum's cooking - all set the right impression, confirming for me that he is just amazing!
Since then he has been constantly working, but we still manage to message throughout the day and talk every night, unless one of us falls asleep ;-) I think that is one of the things I love the most about him, we talk! I never really had that with the Ex! We talk about everything! Religion, everyday things, family, past, future hopes and dreams, it's just brilliant!!
He is gorgeous, kind, caring and someone I can tell everything and anything to! He knows all about my depression and the fact that I can't work at the moment, and it doesn't bother him!
I told him I loved him the first night I met him in person and I truly meant it! He told me that he loved me too! We now tell each other how much we love each other, every single day! Oh, important information, his name is Michael and he is South African, so has a gorgeous accent too! I always knew I was going to fall for a tall, dark, handsome man ;-)
So, there we have it! My reasons for being happy!
I hope that in this hectic time of Christmas, you manage to find some time to sit back and look about you for your 'happiness' too!  xxx

I'm now Confirmed!

So many exciting things have been happening in my life lately, happiness, finding love, but that's for another post ;-) This post is about my growing love of God and belief in Jesus, which was confirmed for all to see at my Confirmation ceremony last night :-)

It was a lovely ceremony, not at my church, but still quite a close one (they take it in turns as to who hosts the service) I had my first Communion as well, which was really nice, even though I can't have the alcohol! I had discussed this with my vicar Brenda, who has been helping me on my journey. We decided that I could just pretend to take a sip, as no one would know! Then I could fully take part, without having the alcohol that I'm not allowed ;-)

The bishop of Reading confirmed me and 5 other candidates; three young kids, a small lady in her 80's (though she didn't look a day over 65!) and a man in his late 30's-early 40's. It was lovely for me to share this special evening with such a range of people, emphasising to me how my faith is shared by all walks of life :-)

The part of the service that sticks with me the most, was when the bishop asked us if we were ready for this step, but not just with our minds, with our hearts. He told a story of when he had been hesitant with the paths that God seemed to be guiding him along. The first being when he went to Ethiopia. He thought only for three years, but he actually ended up staying 9! Then he was being called back to become the Bishop of Reading, and again he hesitated, not sure if he was ready. He told us that hesitation is a natural part of being human; we won't always be sure that we are following the right paths, but if we trust in God and believe with all our hearts, we will do the right thing. So, all he asked of us, was that our hearts were ready to accept God and be filled with his light and love, even if our minds were not quite there yet! He told me after that he could tell I was fully ready, as I spent the whole service just beaming!

I am so glad and grateful for this new chapter in my life and step forward with my faith! It was lovely that my vicar Brenda, her mum Mary and my mum all came along to support me too! Brenda also gave me a beautiful cross as a gift, which was just sooo lovely of her! I 'm still carrying on meeting up with her, continuing my journey and learning from the Bible. Next time we meet, I am going to have to make sure that I have my little 'thank you' gift all sorted, but I have no idea what to give her!

I love Il Divo!!

Well, I managed to complete another of my Day Zero Project challenges this week by going to watch Il Divo at the BIC in Bournemouth on Wednesday, with my mum!

Here we are waiting for them to start!

If you have no idea who they are, then briefly, they are 4 gorgeous singers with use their classical / operatic techniques to sing a wide range of musical genres! David, Sebastien, Carlos and Urs have now been together for 10 years making music in their own Il Divo style! This is the first time that I have ever seen them live and they were just amazing!!

Sorry for the poor quality photos, but I took them of the souvenir brochure I bought!

Dear Little Man

Dear Little Man,
I cannot believe it, but you turned 5 yesterday! I don't know where that year has gone!

You opened your pressies after I finally managed to get you out of bed! I thought you would have run down the stairs like on Christmas day! Sienna had fun trying to help you open your pressies, even though you didn't really want help!
After school you and 10 of your friends went to an amazing bowling party, followed by food and this amazing cake:

made by my friend Wendy and her sister!
Auntie Charlotte, Uncles Chris, Owen, Grannie, Daddy and Nanny all came along too to help me! Plus some lovely mummies and daddies stayed and played too!
I think you had a great day; you were extremely excited, especially as one of your friends came home with us after school, so that we could take him to the party! You both loved sitting in the back of the car in the seat in the 'boot' on the way to the party!
You got loads of dinosaur themed pressies - your absolute favourite at the moment!
You now have another party on Saturday with daddy - you lucky thing!

I just have to share some of my favourite piccies from the last year!

 These show:
 'flying' on the trampoline, your first day in Reception Class (Fir, Turquoise group with Mrs S as your teacher), with Skye and Sienna's Christening, snuggles in bed, making smoothies for your homework, dressing up, silly faces, movie night, happy on the trampoline, with Uncle Chris on our visit to Wellington Country Park (a place you now LOVE!) fun on the trampoline with Auntie Charlotte on her Tuesday visits, Sports Day (Mrs S helping you!) and our first water fight in the garden :-)

It hasn't been the easiest of years for you, what with daddy leaving, me being really poorly and getting used to full school days, but you have done so so well, and I am so proud of the Little Man you have become! You try really hard with your all your work at school; your reading and writing has improved sooo much over the year, your colouring and drawing too! Numbers are still what you find easiest. Your teachers are really proud of you too!
You've made some lovely friends at school  and have already been to 3 birthday parties this summer, with another yet to go.

As I said before, you love dinosaurs, but also cars and playing games with Grandad. I love making marble runs with you in the living room and now thanks to Grannie and Grandad buying you an extra set, we can make the biggest run ever!

Now, as you've just gone to bed on the last day of term, we have the whole summer holiday to look forward to! Already planned are trips to Bucklebury Farm Park, Marwell Zoo, The Natural History Museum on London (to see the dinosaurs!) a 2 week holiday with me, Grannie, Grandad and Sienna in Wales, plus loads of trips to the Lakes, parks, etc. You're also going for your first proper swimming lessons - which I hope you'll really enjoy! Theme days, arty stuff, making, baking, exploring, play days with your friends and just relaxing are also in store!

I love you now and always,
Mummy
xxx

M is for me time!

I am having the BEST weekend so far!
Mum left yesterday afternoon to spend the weekend with some friends. The kids are spending the WHOLE weekend (well until 2.30 on Sunday) with their dad. So it's just me and my dad for the weekend!
I know it must sound awful, but I'm really enjoying having a bit of space and real time to myself! I have done loads of things on the Internet (mainly blogging and pinterest, heehee!), caught up on TV programmes I have recorded and just vegged on the sofa! Last night I had the extra bonus of a lovely long bubble bath before bed. Uninterrupted, as long as I wanted, it was bliss!
I got up at 11 this morning - bad I know! But for once, I didn't wake up feeling guilty that mum had been looking after the kids whilst I had been asleep! I'm on the road to recovery now with this latest depression 'melt-down', but I still feel guilty when I don't do everything I think I should be - especially when it comes to looking after my kids! I am feeling proud though, as I managed to do 3 out of the 4 morning school runs this week! I haven't managed that for ages, and it's made me feel so much better, plus taken pressure off of mum! (a big 'yay me' moment I think, heehee!)
I think that this is the first weekend since husband left me back in November, that I have not had the kids, or the guilt of being away and mum looking after them! I'm loving it!
I even made pancakes for our brunch this morning! I decided that me and dad deserved to have a treat, as everyone else is off having fun for the weekend! They were probably the best I've made to date, as I managed to cook them all without burning any, heehee! They were just yummy!
Here's hoping you're having a good weekend too!

Paying it forward - random gifts!

Ooooh! Just read a lovely post over at Emmys Mummy about kindness and 'Paying it Forward' and it is such a nice idea, that I'm going to join in the fun!
I've been following the idea of 'paying it forward' and 'random acts of kindness' for a while now.
The lovely surprise an unexpected gesture can give someone, anyone, is just such a simple, joyful concept! Now, I'm not the best at doing this, or thinking about it all the time, but I love the idea of doing what I can, when I can. I love giving my car parking ticket to complete strangers, if I no longer need it and it has a few hours left on it - the look of surprise and happiness on their faces, makes it sooo worthwhile, for such a simple thing!
I would love to do some of the bigger gestures, like pay for someones dinner or groceries, or give a sac of goodies to a homeless person, but funds are very tight still!

Now, this idea that I read over at Emmys Mummy, is that I will buy a small gift for the first 5 people who comment 'I'm in' on this post. (This will be sometime in 2014 and you won't know when, until it arrives!) Then to pay it forward, they have to do the same!
There are 2 ways to do this; either by posting a blog (like I'm doing) or adding it as as a Facebook status.

If you want to join in the fun of spreading a little joy, then please leave me a way to contact you (e-mail, snail mail, Facebook, etc)

Image from Google search

R is for reading

Wow, it's been a really long time since I posted, again!
Things have been really up and down with my depression (and the PND) but things seem to be on the up, so I thought I'd come and see my very neglected blog!

One of the bad things still bothering me with my depression is the terrible insomnia! I don't seem to be able to sleep before 4am and have therefore not been able to take Little Man to school in the mornings, for which I've been feeling really bad and guilty that hubby has been doing this school run. (I did manage it today though, after only 2 hours sleep!! Keep your fingers crossed I can keep it up!)
Anywho, where was I going with this... insomnia, right. I'm not one of those people who can just lie in bed, I get bored and very frustrated! Instead, I have been spending many nights devouring books on my Kindle!

I absolutely LOVE reading! It calms me and allows me to escape my crazy world for a while.
I enjoy reading a wide range of genres, from rom-coms to historical fiction, modern murder mysteries to the classics. Depending on how I feel (I always read to match my mood!) I will pretty much try anything!
I have my favourite authors of course, whose books I can read over and over. Jane Austen, for example, is who I turn to when things are really bad. Her novels are my comfort, her characters like old friends who I rely on to make me feel better, even for a little while!

What has been really great for me during my bad insomnia, is the fact that Kindle has hundreds of books to download for FREE!!! I now spend hours downloading books to pass the long hours awake! I've found new authors and genres that I wouldn't have tried ordinarily, if it weren't for the fact that they are free and if I really don't like them, then I can just delete them and find something else!
In the last couple of months I have read 28 books! I have now added the following to my 'have to read / can't wait to get another of their books list'



Mande Matthews - Norse fantasy writer
Eva Pohler - fantasy involving the Gods

image from here

Robert E. Keller - fantasy writer
Ethan Spier - science fiction thriller
Jean Webster - classics
Grimm brothers - fairy tales
Charlotte Bronte - classics
Anne Radcliffe - classics
M.G. Lewis - classics
Heather Horrocks - rom-com / easy reads
Gail McMillan - rom-com / easy reads
Diana Dempsey - rom-com / easy reads
Piper Shelly - rom-com / easy reads
Courtney Rice Gager - rom-com / easy reads
Veronica Henry - rom-com / easy reads

Christmas and birthdays will be vouchers, vouchers, vouchers from now on ;-)

Dear Little Man...

Dear little man,
Well, I can't believe it, but another year has flown by and you are now 4!
A lot of things have changed over this year, here are just a few highlights I can remember at the moment (my memory isn't as good as it was!)

You've had a brilliant year at Pied Piper Pre-school! I still can't believe you were there a whole year!
You've had lovely teachers helping you to grow and progress. Some of the favourite things I have enjoyed were watching you be a shepherd in the Nativity, going on school trips with you to see the lambs at Rushall Farm in the spring and Beale Park in the summer and watching you in Sports Day!
You made some lovely friends and went to your first birthday parties this summer for Ellie (ice skating) and Georgia (disco).
From what you tell me, your favourite things have been playing with the play doh, playing with the cars and train sets and playing in the garden.
We all had great fun with the play sacks that you bought home, but the best by far was when Benjamin Bear came to stay the weekend:

You and Benjamin after a long day!

playing dress-up

We've had lots of fun this year with mummy's friends - going to each other's houses every Weds for lunch and play session with Jack, Matilda and Sara. With a few outings to the Lakes and 4 Kingdoms

4 kingdoms - on the slide

saying hello to the animals 

Also going out or having fun with your other friends Rosie and Skye! We've had some fun in the garden, a swim session and lots of trips to the Lakes!

with daddy, Skye, Ems and Dave feeding the ducks

I guess the biggest change this year has been the arrival of your baby sister back in January. You are an amazing big brother and adore Sienna already!
You love playing with her, giving her cuddles and singing to her if she's crying.

when she was a new baby

at Skye's birthday

Also Unkie Sy got married and you were the page boy and daddy was one of the best men








It really has been a wonderful year!

S is for Snail Mail

You're probably going to think that this is really sad (and hey, that's fine!) but I love getting snail mail!
Obviously not the evil bills or annoying junk mail, but the lovely letters, cards and postcards from friends and family (and possibly others that I can't think of at the moment - oh wait, ones containing cheques would also be fine by me, heehee!)
The reason that I've started thinking about this is that I've just recently had my 31st birthday, and much as I loved getting all my facebook messages and texts, it was even nicer to have some birthday cards to actually open!
I think that this goes back to my childhood and my own love of writing; sending postcards from EVERY holiday I went on (even the mini ones!) or thank you letters and cards for whatever occasion!
I then loved getting post in return - postcards finding out where friends and family had been on holiday, special cards for birthdays, exams etc and the occasional letter!
What might be even weirder was the fact that me and some of my friends would write long letters to each other when we got home from school! You know the cliche of the teenager attached to the phone with her best friend talking for hours, even though they have spent the whole day together - well our version was writing letters to each other! They weren't your standard letter either, oh no! We had to use different colours in the letter and use funky stationary, to make it 'look' right too! (Ok, that does seem a little sad, heehee!)
I have a keepsake box which contains a stash of these letters! It also has a few special cards and letters I received when I was away at Uni. Every so often I get them out and spend and afternoon wandering down memory lane : )
The stash is ever growing too, as I keep all the thank yous I get from friends (for pressies we've given their kiddies) and special cards from my own kiddies and hubby - my first mother's day cards and anniversary cards are top ranking now!
I am hoping Little Man might pick up a little of this. His Godmummy (my best friend) is currently living in Australia and she has been sending him little postcards of places she's visited, plus some sharing Australian wildlife etc, so we have been choosing postcards and sending replies together! I've started him his own keepsake box and these postcards are now the start of his very own snail mail stash : ) (Oooh, that reminds me, I need to buy some more postcards as our supply is almost gone!)
Right, I'm off to dig out my stash, so I can have another wander, as it's been a while! (plus it's always good for a laugh!!)
Well, here's hoping that I'm not the only snail mail loving weirdo out there ; )

B is for Baking

Unfortunately I've been poorly, again, so our Family Saturday didn't really happen last week :(
Today however, we did a bit of baking and made some smarties cookies (I found the recipe here on Jennifer's Little World) which turned out crispy, but a good taste, as Little Man squished them onto the baking tray, heehee!

everything ready

smarties shakers ;)



measuring sugar



helping daddy with syrup



greasing the tray - I think this was Little man's favourite bit!!



squished them down just a little ;)



ta da!!