Friday, 23 December 2011

I am really trying hard

I'm really trying hard to keep cheerful and positive, especially around little man. I think that he knows something isn't right, as he went straight into my parents room with his milk, instead of coming into my bedroom like he usually does. He's also giving me a little space and playing with Grandad a lot more today - I spent all morning with him watching cbeebies panto and Disney junior! I'm still amazed at how aware he is already.

I tend to have my little cry in the shower of all places!!
I 'm trying to keep my tears to myself, as hubby doesn't like it when I cry, and if I cry in front of mum, she starts crying too!!
I just know that bottling up this pain, won't help. So I'm really proud of how strong I've managed to be around other people.

I hope the pain and blood (sorry gross) stops soon!! At least I've been signed off for a week now, so that should give my emotions and body a bit of time to adjust and get back to normal.

I'm not sure how to get through Christmas though. I don't think I'm the best company and trying to 'put on a happy face' is a lot harder than I thought!!

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