Thursday, 29 December 2011

Thoughts for 2011 and hopes for 2012

So, as Christmas has passed and time is marching towards 2012, it got me thinking about things that have happened over the year, and what I'm hoping for next year.

Overall, 2011 has been quite a hard year for me and my hubby.

The start of the year was pretty pants. I was still trying to do supply teaching, whilst coping with severe depression. Luckily I came to my senses around Easter time and finally made the huge step and left teaching.

My depression spiralled out of control. I had my meds upped from 20 to 30 and was having psychology. However, from when I was assessed in February, to when I actually got seen in June / July, I had already managed to get myself on the path to 'normal me' again - so yay me for that! Psychology has now given me the tools I need to spot signs that things might be getting bad again and I have a plan to follow, if needed.

During the bad 5 months, we were also living back with my parents and trying to sort out and clear out our old house ready for selling - this took until Easter!! I think my depression was so bad and having a hubby that works nights, made it all take so much longer than we had hoped.

I was unemployed for 3 months - which was really scary, as I went straight from Uni straight into a job.  I doubted myself, I thought I was good for nothing and that I would be unemployed for ever!!

However, August - November were brilliant!
I got a job working as a waitress and I love it! The people I work with are so nice and it's a real team-effort in everything.
My brother-in-law had a baby and got married.
We have had 2 lovely holidays as a family - one week in Okehampton and one in the New Forest.
My little man is benefiting so much from living back with my parents - and I think they love having him -  except when he decides that he wants to see them very early in the morning!! Heehee (his routine is now; get into bed with me and drink his cup of milk. Then he either goes back to sleep in his bed, or goes and wakes up Grannie, depending on his mood and the time of day, heehee!)
I launched my own tiny business called 'Happy Crafting' to benefit me and charity. I haven't made loads yet, but I know I will soon ;)

Unfortunately the year ends in tragedy with the loss of my little Pip. I have now nearly completed miscarrying and hope that it won't last that much longer. I will always see the 19th Dec as the day I lost Pip, even thought I didn't actually have the proper miscarriage until x-mas eve (we didn't know at the time, until the docs explained whilst I was in hospital) In my mind, I had already lost Pip and was therefore so much more prepared for the inevitable, when I found out that it hadn't actually occurred yet. She (I had already started to dream about her) will always have a place in my heart.

So, with much joy and sadness this year, I have started to look forward to 2012 and here's what I have decided to try and achieve:

I really want to get into shape and loose another dress size. I have lots of exercise DvDs and my Wii fit plus, so the plan is to get my butt in gear and work hard!!!

I want to have a huge clear and tidy out. I want to clear out all the rubbish and crap that seems to have taken root in our living room and bedroom - and maybe help my mum in her living room and the spare bedroom.
Then I plan to sort through my clothes and DvDs and little man's clothes and toys ready for storing, selling or to go to charity.

I am going to try my best to make enough bags and cards to actually have a stall at a craft fair and make some money :)

I would like at some point (maybe around Feb / March time) start trying to get pregnant again.
I know I'm not at all ready now, nor will I be in January. I said my goodbye, but I want some breathing space before trying again. I'm also really nervous that I will miscarry again, but I have to have a little faith and hope for the best - what is meant to be, will be.

So, it will be interesting to look back in a few months time and see how I'm doing ;)

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