Well, again it has been an absolute age since I last had my last blog - bad me!
The pregnancy is going to take the blame for this though, as it has been very hard!
I don't remember it being quite as hard as this when I was pregnant with Little Man, but I suppose that time I was sick for 17 weeks and didn't have a 3 year old to look after at the same time ;)
I always get the bad bits over first and end with the good, so here are the more negative aspects of my pregnancy this time!
The Downs:
I am soooo tired all the time! Yet I don't manage to sleep at night :(
This is due to the amount of times I need to drag myself to the loo, and that I am soooo huge (hubby has already compared me to a beached whale!) that it is really uncomfy trying to sleep on my sides - especially with trying to heave myself from one side to the other - I have never been able to sleep in one position ;)
I have had 2 trips to the hospital with bleeds, which have been really scary! (especially as I had the miscarriage last Christmas!)
The first turned out to be an infection, and the second was just 'one of those things'!
I now have gestational diabetes :( :( :(
This means that I have had to get used to stabbing my finger 2x a day, plus extra blood tests :(
On the plus side of this thought, my fear of needles is not as bad as before! :)
My depression has been a complete nightmare!
I have had suicidal thoughts (thankfully they passed quickly!!), nights of crying myself to sleep, terribly low mood and feelings of self-loathing, worthlessness and that I have no future to look forward to! The crowning low point had to be when I was feeling ill and depressed and I told hubby that I wanted him to move in with his parents as I was feeling neglected!!
Phew, that's done now! onto the better bits!!
The Ups!
My family have been amazing at helping me look after Little Man when I couldn't, and giving me all the love and support I needed through the tougher times!
Little Man has had some lovely moments lately! Firstly in sorting through his toys (we've never sold any of them!) to give some to the baby - which was sooo cute!
Secondly all the little kisses and chats he's had with baby - which is (according to him) in my tummy button!!
On the good days, I have managed to do some chores and jobs round the house - washing, hoovering and the dishwasher. It might not seem a lot, but I was finally happy at being able to help, as I know mum and hubby have been taking the strain more, as I've been so bad.
We have also had a massive tidy up of Little Man's toys, which were getting everywhere!! They are now all in his bedroom, except for one 4 drawer stack and a box of his Lego in the living room! His room may now look like a tip, but the rest of the house is much better! :)
We've still had some great family times!
Little man has been really creative lately. We've made pictures with stickers; cards for mum, hubby and grandad with his 'snipping' and sticking scrap card and salt dough models which we then painted!
We've been playing more games too! Loads of role play with his cars (his favourite thing at the moment) plus playing with a game I found in a charity shop 'Shopping List' by Orchard toys - which he loves!!
We've managed shopping trips (for pressies), 3 birthday parties and trips to the lakes :)
Finally, I am really happy that I have nearly done all of our Christmas shopping!! (only 3 left to get!)
Although baby is due on 28th Dec, for some reason I am convinced that s/he will be early, so I'm being prepared ;)
So there you have it, the good and bad of my pregnancy this time round!
I had to save the best thing for last;
I'm finally nearly there!!! 33 weeks and counting :)
Monday, 12 November 2012
Sunday, 30 September 2012
Baby bump sure likes to keep us on our toes!
Yesterday was a little bit eventful!
I had a very slight bleed in the morning, with a tiny clot (sorry tmi) and was worried, but as it stopped, we all (mum and hubby and me) thought that it would be fine.
We went to a lovely little country crafty fair and walked about a fair bit. My favourite was the re-enactment groups - all dressed up in period costume and little man got to 'stamp' an old fashioned coin!
Then, as I'd only had about 4 hours sleep the night before, I went for a lovely long nap!
When I woke again, I had another bleed, so we got in contact with WestCall (our local out-of-hours docs) and they wanted to see me at hospital.
Little man went to stay with nanny and grandad, as I really didn't want to take him to hospital. Then, hubby, mum and me set off for hospital.
I was hooked up for a trace and had the monitor thingy on my bump, but little baby bump was soooo wriggly that I had to keep chasing him/her to keep the trace going!
The doctor examined me and everything looked fine and no more blood, which was such a relief! He said that sometimes with growing and moving, little bleeds can occur! So after 2 hours in total, we all made our way home, little man stayed over at nanny's with his cousin Sean - which was lovely!
This baby sure likes us to know that s/he is there with these little scares ;)
Now, I'm just going to take it a little easier - I've had a lovely relaxing day with my crafty magazine and catching up with e-mails etc :)
I had a very slight bleed in the morning, with a tiny clot (sorry tmi) and was worried, but as it stopped, we all (mum and hubby and me) thought that it would be fine.
We went to a lovely little country crafty fair and walked about a fair bit. My favourite was the re-enactment groups - all dressed up in period costume and little man got to 'stamp' an old fashioned coin!
Then, as I'd only had about 4 hours sleep the night before, I went for a lovely long nap!
When I woke again, I had another bleed, so we got in contact with WestCall (our local out-of-hours docs) and they wanted to see me at hospital.
Little man went to stay with nanny and grandad, as I really didn't want to take him to hospital. Then, hubby, mum and me set off for hospital.
I was hooked up for a trace and had the monitor thingy on my bump, but little baby bump was soooo wriggly that I had to keep chasing him/her to keep the trace going!
The doctor examined me and everything looked fine and no more blood, which was such a relief! He said that sometimes with growing and moving, little bleeds can occur! So after 2 hours in total, we all made our way home, little man stayed over at nanny's with his cousin Sean - which was lovely!
This baby sure likes us to know that s/he is there with these little scares ;)
Now, I'm just going to take it a little easier - I've had a lovely relaxing day with my crafty magazine and catching up with e-mails etc :)
Sunday, 23 September 2012
I'm sooo proud!
The Dummy Fairy visited little man last night!
This morning we opened an envelope and read a special letter together. Then we found a special bag for the dummy to go in for the fairy to collect, if he was feeling brave enough.
The minute we finished the letter, little man put his dummy straight in the bag and said 'goodbye dodo!' It was soo cute, and way more than I had expected!
So, I have decided that he will have to have the little certificate AND pressie tonight, as I am so impressed!
This morning we opened an envelope and read a special letter together. Then we found a special bag for the dummy to go in for the fairy to collect, if he was feeling brave enough.
The minute we finished the letter, little man put his dummy straight in the bag and said 'goodbye dodo!' It was soo cute, and way more than I had expected!
.JPG) |
| Little man with his letter and dummy ready for the fairy! |
Saturday, 22 September 2012
The Dummy Fairy
Little man had his first visit to the dentist last week and although he has lovely clean teeth, she did say that he needed to give up his dummies, as he was starting to get a slight over-bite.
I had been ready for this day, as from the day he was born, I wanted him to have a dummy instead of his thumb or fingers to comfort him, so that eventually he could give them up.
I sucked my thumb when I was little and it was the worst thing trying to stop. In the end I ended up with braces at the age of 10, with prongs in them to help me stop. This brace was followed by train-tracks and head gear, in total 3 years of pain and misery! Something I vowed I would never want my own children to go through.
Kindly the dentist and the dental nurse suggested that I try using the 'dummy fairy' which had worked well for their other clients over the years.
I had vaguely heard of the dummy fairy, but not really as much as the tooth fairy.
This made my little imagination spark and I started to create a little story about a boy who gets visited by the dummy fairy. I looked on google, to check if my idea had already been done and I didn't really find anything that I had been thinking about, so I got cracking!
I have just finished writing it!
Part of the story had a letter from the dummy fairy, so I have re-created it and added more colour to use with my little man tonight!
The next few nights will put the story into 'real life' with little man!
Think I'm going to need a lot of prayers for the difficult nights ahead, when little man says goodbye to his beloved 'dodo's'!
Wish us luck!
I had been ready for this day, as from the day he was born, I wanted him to have a dummy instead of his thumb or fingers to comfort him, so that eventually he could give them up.
I sucked my thumb when I was little and it was the worst thing trying to stop. In the end I ended up with braces at the age of 10, with prongs in them to help me stop. This brace was followed by train-tracks and head gear, in total 3 years of pain and misery! Something I vowed I would never want my own children to go through.
Kindly the dentist and the dental nurse suggested that I try using the 'dummy fairy' which had worked well for their other clients over the years.
I had vaguely heard of the dummy fairy, but not really as much as the tooth fairy.
This made my little imagination spark and I started to create a little story about a boy who gets visited by the dummy fairy. I looked on google, to check if my idea had already been done and I didn't really find anything that I had been thinking about, so I got cracking!
I have just finished writing it!
Part of the story had a letter from the dummy fairy, so I have re-created it and added more colour to use with my little man tonight!
The next few nights will put the story into 'real life' with little man!
Think I'm going to need a lot of prayers for the difficult nights ahead, when little man says goodbye to his beloved 'dodo's'!
Wish us luck!
Tuesday, 18 September 2012
Listography: Top 5 Truths (according to women)
I have so missed taking part in Listography, so when the lovely Kate over at Kate Takes 5 posted this weeks list, I thought I should have another go!
This week it about the Top 5 Truths (according to women).
I think that along my journey to 30, I have managed to pick up a few things - and am sure I have many more to learn in the years to follow ;)
1. What goes around, comes around
I am a great believer in Karma! I have often seen that those who do good are rewarded (be it small recognition or lovely surprises!) and those negative / evil / nasty people will get their comeuppance eventually!!
2. Moderation is key
My Grannie always told me to eat a little of everything you like, as you only have one life (unless you believe otherwise) so you might as well enjoy eating your favourite things and be happy! I've tried so many diets where I've denied myself this and that, and have never managed to stick to any of them - leaving me feeling even worse than before! So, I'm going to stick to my Grannie's plan from now on ;)
3. Age is irrelevant!
I have always had friends of all ages. When I was younger, some of my closest friends were at least 10 years older than me and it never mattered! I also think that when choosing a partner, the older you get, the less age matters. For example my brother's girlfriend is 5 years older than him and you wouldn't know it!
It also applies to the well known saying 'you're as old as you feel' - though on some days I feel about 100, so that isn't always a good thing, heehee!
4. There are different types of friends in your life.
When I was younger, I used to worry a lot about being 'accepted' and 'liked' at school. Then one day, I just stopped worrying and decided that I would be 'me' and people would either like me or then wouldn't and that was fine!
I also found later on, that there are different types of friends;
There your friends for life; people that you meet (sometimes when you're really little) who will always be there for you, who you don't have to see or talk to often, but when you do catch up it's as if you've never been apart.
The 'comet' friends; those who come and brighten your life for a brief time, then fade and drift away again.
'Fair weather friends' who you might see once in a while for a coffee, or comment on their pictures and posts on facebook.
Some you see every week, some once a year, but all have a special place in your life!
5. Everyone is flawed.
We might look at our friends or family and wish that we had their gorgeous wavy hair, or their ability to handle really stressful situations, or their perfectly behaved children etc. The strange thing is that they will be doing exactly the same thing! No one is ever completely satisfied with themselves or their lot in life and will always be looking around and wishing for something else!
So I like to think that 'perfection' is a myth! We all have our strengths (and weaknesses!) and we should try and take a note of them once in a while!
There you have it, my attempt at truths I have learnt so far!
Make sure you check out some other lists over at Kate Takes 5
This week it about the Top 5 Truths (according to women).
I think that along my journey to 30, I have managed to pick up a few things - and am sure I have many more to learn in the years to follow ;)
1. What goes around, comes around
I am a great believer in Karma! I have often seen that those who do good are rewarded (be it small recognition or lovely surprises!) and those negative / evil / nasty people will get their comeuppance eventually!!
2. Moderation is key
My Grannie always told me to eat a little of everything you like, as you only have one life (unless you believe otherwise) so you might as well enjoy eating your favourite things and be happy! I've tried so many diets where I've denied myself this and that, and have never managed to stick to any of them - leaving me feeling even worse than before! So, I'm going to stick to my Grannie's plan from now on ;)
3. Age is irrelevant!
I have always had friends of all ages. When I was younger, some of my closest friends were at least 10 years older than me and it never mattered! I also think that when choosing a partner, the older you get, the less age matters. For example my brother's girlfriend is 5 years older than him and you wouldn't know it!
It also applies to the well known saying 'you're as old as you feel' - though on some days I feel about 100, so that isn't always a good thing, heehee!
4. There are different types of friends in your life.
When I was younger, I used to worry a lot about being 'accepted' and 'liked' at school. Then one day, I just stopped worrying and decided that I would be 'me' and people would either like me or then wouldn't and that was fine!
I also found later on, that there are different types of friends;
There your friends for life; people that you meet (sometimes when you're really little) who will always be there for you, who you don't have to see or talk to often, but when you do catch up it's as if you've never been apart.
The 'comet' friends; those who come and brighten your life for a brief time, then fade and drift away again.
'Fair weather friends' who you might see once in a while for a coffee, or comment on their pictures and posts on facebook.
Some you see every week, some once a year, but all have a special place in your life!
5. Everyone is flawed.
We might look at our friends or family and wish that we had their gorgeous wavy hair, or their ability to handle really stressful situations, or their perfectly behaved children etc. The strange thing is that they will be doing exactly the same thing! No one is ever completely satisfied with themselves or their lot in life and will always be looking around and wishing for something else!
So I like to think that 'perfection' is a myth! We all have our strengths (and weaknesses!) and we should try and take a note of them once in a while!
There you have it, my attempt at truths I have learnt so far!
Make sure you check out some other lists over at Kate Takes 5
So grown up!
We were very excited today, as it was little man's very first 'proper' session at Pre-School!
We had a lovely early night last night (which hasn't happened in quite a while, heehee!) so it only took a few minutes to persuade him that he needed to get up and get ready for school :)
Unfortunately, my alarms didn't help again today! I slept through 2 on the radio clock and then the one on my phone didn't go off at all, but oh well, we weren't late thank goodness!
Here he is in his gorgeous little uniform, which I think he called 'unicorn' but the effort was there ;)
We had a little taster session last week, where I got to stay too - it was brilliant! I think I had as much fun as little man, heehee!
Neither of us were worried today, i explained that he was going to school and that he could play with all the toys again. That I would go home and then when they had had story and rhyme time I would come back and pick him up.
I got a cuddle and kissey and then I left him happily playing with glittery playdoh!
What was really nice was that I had a little chat with the mum of a little girl we met last week, plus Aiden's old childminder was dropping off a little boy, so I had a chat with her too :)
Well, I have to pop back and get him in a minute, but I've enjoyed my morning of undisturbed computer time and a coffee!
We had a lovely early night last night (which hasn't happened in quite a while, heehee!) so it only took a few minutes to persuade him that he needed to get up and get ready for school :)
Unfortunately, my alarms didn't help again today! I slept through 2 on the radio clock and then the one on my phone didn't go off at all, but oh well, we weren't late thank goodness!
Here he is in his gorgeous little uniform, which I think he called 'unicorn' but the effort was there ;)
 |
| he was hiding in this one, heehee! |
 |
| my yummy grown up boy :) |
We had a little taster session last week, where I got to stay too - it was brilliant! I think I had as much fun as little man, heehee!
Neither of us were worried today, i explained that he was going to school and that he could play with all the toys again. That I would go home and then when they had had story and rhyme time I would come back and pick him up.
I got a cuddle and kissey and then I left him happily playing with glittery playdoh!
What was really nice was that I had a little chat with the mum of a little girl we met last week, plus Aiden's old childminder was dropping off a little boy, so I had a chat with her too :)
Well, I have to pop back and get him in a minute, but I've enjoyed my morning of undisturbed computer time and a coffee!
Tuesday, 11 September 2012
Life has been really up and down!
Wow, I can hardly believe that September has arrived already!
Things have been really up and down at the moment - I feel like I'm on a huge emotional roller coaster!
On the down side, my depression and the pregnancy have been really hard to cope with :(
It's been a really tough few weeks:
I've been really tired and unable to sleep properly at night (due to needing to wee about 12 times!) My dreams are being plagued again by the horrible man in black (he's the manifestation of my depression) who hurts me and even threw me out of a third storey window!
I've been having arguments with hubby about the amount of times he keeps going out, without even thinking about me or little man, and whether we might like to actually spend some time with him.
I haven't managed to get to therapy in a month, due to illness and not being able to face anyone!
I have been having terrible thoughts about being a burden, not wanting to be here anymore, not being able to see past having baby - it's been like seeing a huge black void, there's been nothing there - no future at all.
Tears a plenty!
Thankfully, the last couple of days have been slightly better!
I completely broke down and told everything to mum (she caught me crying the other night) and I think that has helped a lot. I then talked to hubby and explained how things are bad for me at the moment, so he's being a lot more understanding and thinking about discussing our plans together, before he just goes out, which is brilliant!
The man in black seems to have gone away again, which I am so happy about!!!
Finally, I've had some lovely dreams about the baby and plans for next year!
Not everything has been a total disaster though, as even through the bad times, I have still managed to do quite a few things with little man:
We've made paper mache - which was a disaster, but lots of fun, heehee!
Started going swimming on Saturdays with little man, hubby and mum.
Been to the beach twice (I drove there and back the second time, which was 4 hours in total - I felt very proud!)
We've been playing games like matching pairs / the tray game, completing his Charley Bear sticker magazine (which he got as a treat for how well he's been doing with potty training!) we even had a go at little man's Winnie the Pooh CD-ROM games today.
So there we are. I'm now on the upward climb, hoping that things with continue to improve and level out!
Things have been really up and down at the moment - I feel like I'm on a huge emotional roller coaster!
On the down side, my depression and the pregnancy have been really hard to cope with :(
It's been a really tough few weeks:
I've been really tired and unable to sleep properly at night (due to needing to wee about 12 times!) My dreams are being plagued again by the horrible man in black (he's the manifestation of my depression) who hurts me and even threw me out of a third storey window!
I've been having arguments with hubby about the amount of times he keeps going out, without even thinking about me or little man, and whether we might like to actually spend some time with him.
I haven't managed to get to therapy in a month, due to illness and not being able to face anyone!
I have been having terrible thoughts about being a burden, not wanting to be here anymore, not being able to see past having baby - it's been like seeing a huge black void, there's been nothing there - no future at all.
Tears a plenty!
Thankfully, the last couple of days have been slightly better!
I completely broke down and told everything to mum (she caught me crying the other night) and I think that has helped a lot. I then talked to hubby and explained how things are bad for me at the moment, so he's being a lot more understanding and thinking about discussing our plans together, before he just goes out, which is brilliant!
The man in black seems to have gone away again, which I am so happy about!!!
Finally, I've had some lovely dreams about the baby and plans for next year!
Not everything has been a total disaster though, as even through the bad times, I have still managed to do quite a few things with little man:
We've made paper mache - which was a disaster, but lots of fun, heehee!
Started going swimming on Saturdays with little man, hubby and mum.
Been to the beach twice (I drove there and back the second time, which was 4 hours in total - I felt very proud!)
We've been playing games like matching pairs / the tray game, completing his Charley Bear sticker magazine (which he got as a treat for how well he's been doing with potty training!) we even had a go at little man's Winnie the Pooh CD-ROM games today.
So there we are. I'm now on the upward climb, hoping that things with continue to improve and level out!
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